September 28th, 2008

September 23rd,2008

September 17th, 2008

September 15th, 2008

September 11th, 2008

September 9th, 2008

August 19th, 2008

August 14th, 2008

Announcer dude: So, another exciting time with the boys.

Beamer: Hey, I have a fun time here.

Bobby: So do I.

Announcer Dude: Yeah, well we are all thrilled for you two.

Beamer: What do you suppose that means?

Bobby: I don't know. Just ignore him.

Announcer Dude: Go ahead, try to ignore me.

Beamer: Did we take our attitude pills or something today?

Bobby: Yeah, what he said.

Beamer: You don't have anything to post do you?

Bobby: Nope, Not a thing.

August 12th, 2008

August 11th, 2008

Bobby: So, it looks like B and B 3.0 is a hit.

Beamer: B and B 3.0?

Bobby: The cartoon thingy.

Beamer: Oh, I knew that.

Bobby: The announcer dude looks pretty suave doesn't he?

Beamer: I could wear a tux, if I wanted to.

Bobby: Yeah Right, You probably don't even know what a cummerbund is , do you?

Beamer: Isn't that what you slice into salads?

Bobby: Yeah that's it. Glam would be so happy to know that fact.

Beamer: You don't think she is still reading us do you?

Bobby: There's always a chance.

Beamer: Just as long as she doesn't meet up with Amy?

Bobby: I think it would be interesting.

August 10th, 2008

August 9th, 2008

6 / 15/ 2008

Beamer: Happy Fathers day.

Beam_er: Yeah Right.

Beamer: Whats up?

Beam_er: I'm just remembering Dad.

Beamer: He was one of a kind.

Beam_er: Yeah you were lucky. You were his fave.

Beamer: I sure was.

Beam_er: So you had no Idea what I had to put up with.

Beamer: There were times when I had a hard time hearing the TV over you two fighting.

Beam_er: Poor Baby.

Beamer: And then there was the time he broke my GI Joe when he threw it at you.

Beam_er: He bought you another one.

Beamer: Actually He bought me three of them. I wasn't supposed to tell.

Beam_er: What?

Beamer: Oh, I forgot to tell you. I sold one of them on EBay for 300 dollars last week.

Beam_er: Those junky plastic soldier toys?

Beamer: Yep. To some guy in Switzerland.

Beam_er: I didn't know you knew about Ebay?

Beamer: Actually the Announcer Dude helped me with it.

Beam_er: So your staying in touch with him?

Beamer: Yeah he was over last night while you were out. We had a couple of Cokes.

Announcer: Ok, so again its not the morning and it is now the 2nd of June, 2008.

Beam_er: I was just remembering something really stupid you told me about.

Beamer: And I am probably regretting ever telling you this.

Beam_er: Probably.

Beamer: So what is this sorted tale?

Beam_er: Oh it was just when you first started driving a forklift.

Beamer: Yeah ...

Beam_er: And you drove it into the middle of the pond at work.

Beamer: And it sunk?

Beam_er: Thats the one.

Beamer: That was pretty funny, except for when my boss found out.

Beam_er: Well how were you supposed to know that there was no asphalt under the water? You had just started there.

Beamer: That was probably my saving grace.

Beam_er: So how deep did it sink any way?

Beamer: Oh up to the axles. I bottomed it out. It was stuck good. Then it only took 2 trucks to pull it out. What a mess. Luckily the water was only about 6 inches deep and about 30 feet around. It splashed pretty good till it got out to the center. Then it left me stranded.

Announcer: The time is not morning again and the date is May 31, 2008.

Beam_er: This is a little different today. I have a tale to tell. A true tale. Hopefully the Marine is still alive to remember this story and can tell his buddies that he was featured on B and B.

I was doing home deliveries for a local company that had been in business for years as Montgomery Wards. It sold a whole bunch of different stuff and at the time I was the main driver for the truck that delivered what the customers could load into their trunk. One of the Items we delivered a lot of was refrigerators.

This particular refrigerator was to be delivered north of town. We, my helper and I, arrived early in the morning and I went to the door to see where the refrigerator was to go in the house. This fine morning I was met at the front door by a US Marine. The reason I knew this was because he was in battle fatigues with a great deal of camouflage on them. I asked him where the new appliance was to go and he showed me. He also showed me where they wanted the old appliance to go in the garage. They were going to use the old one to store beer in.

Great. I went out, told my helper what this delivery was about and went back inside to clear the way for the moves.

A few minutes later I returned to the truck to help get the large refrig out of the trailer. We went inside with the new appliance and put it into place. We got the old refrig and moved it ot he garage. No Problem. Then the fun started.

To plug the new refrig in the wall to make sure it worked properly, I needed an adapter
To get the new 3 prong plug on the appliance to plug into the wall outlet, which was 2 prongs. I asked the young marine about the object of my desire. He went out to the garage and I followed him. There he found what must have been a 75 foot extension cord.

The cord was orange. The adapter I was looking for was the same color. The marine had the cord in hand and looked at one end of the cord.

"No Adapter here." Now the adapter is gonna be at one end or the other. It ain't gonna be anywhere else.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna find it though."

So I watched as he carefully inspected every inch of that cord, looking for the adapter. I stood there in absolute astonishment. Here was one of America's finest. They let this guy have handgernades and shoot rifles and pistols. Hell, he might drive a tank. And he couldn't find the adapter on this extension cord. So he finally go to the other end and guess what?

There was the adapter.

"Here it is. I knew I'd find it."

Announcer: Seeing as how this isn't even the morning, do I still have to give the date?

Beam_er: Just humor me.

Announcer: Ok, the Date is May 30th, 2008 and it's not even close to being in the morning.

Beam_er: Ok, that's the second time you said that it's not the morning. Are trying to say something?

Announcer: Gee, I don't know ... Maybe, because it's the afternoon.

Beam_er: You do know you are just the announcer, Right? The title of this thing isn't B an B and the announcer.

Announcer: It could be.



Beam_er: How ya doin'?

Beamer: I'm all right. How you doing?

Beam_er: Doing pert damn good, thanks.

Beamer: So what are we doing today? I didn't see an e-mail.

Beam_er: No, I didn't send an e-mail today. I thought we could wing it.

Beamer: Oh wow Dude.

Beam_er: Pretty spiffy huh?

Beamer: I almost pee'd my pants with excitement.

Beam_er: So what do you want to do?

Beamer: Go Eat. I'm starving.

Beam_er: But ...

Beamer: Cone on ... let's go to McDonalds.

Beam_er: How am I gonna write about you eating?

Beamer: I don't know. Your the expert blogger. My tummies growling.

Beam_er: Egads.

Announcer: (clears throat) Good Morning. The date is May 29th, 2008. The brothers are a little late getting in here to day, so I think I shall take this chance to express ...

Beam_er: I'm not late.

Announcer: Oh Hi.

Beam_er: You told me you weren't going to expound past your copy, what I have written for you.

Announcer: I know, but I have so much to say.

Beam_er: Get your own Blog.

Announcer: Your Mean.

Beam_er: Look, I have only a limited time to make this Blog interesting so people will read it and then return for more B and B Blogging another day.

Announcer: And You Think this is interesting?

Beam_er: Well No, I don't think this is interesting cause this isn't the blog. This is me getting after you.

Announcer: Your still mean.

Beamer: What did I miss?

Beam_er: Nothing.

Announcer: Your brother is mean.

Beamer: I know.

Beam_er: What? Look I don't have time for this. I have a Blog to Produce.

Beamer: So what are we talking about today?

Beam_er: Didn't you read the Email?

Beamer: Well I was going too, then I found a link to a video about Panda bears and then I found one where a bunch of babies were farting and then ...

Beam_er: I give Up.

Annoncer: So, do I still have a Job?

Announcer: I'm not sure what is going to be discussed today, I just know I am supposed to announce that the following discussion is a bit on the disgusting side and for those of you that are easily disgusted that perhaps you should come back tomorrow.

Beam_er: Thanks Announcer Guy. Uhm, Beamer, I just want to know something?

Beamer: What?

Beam_er: Remember growing up how you use to get whole lemons and then carefully wash them off?

Beamer: And then when I made sure you were watching I would take a big bite out of it like an apple?

Beam_er: Yep exactly. What the hell was the matter with you?

Beamer: I just loved to see the look on your face.

Beam_er: But your eating a lemon rind and all?

Beamer: And your point is?

Beam_er: What the hell is the matter with you?

Beamer: Oh, if you could just see the look on your face.

Beam_er: I get that, but your eating a frigging lemon.

Beamer: Yep. So?

Beam_er: God, Never mind.

Backstory:

Ok. I actually do have a brother, who is four years younger than me. He and I haven't talked in Years. I have a nephew who is probably 4 years old who I have never seen. I don't understand a lot of what my brother does or even come close to understanding why, This lemon eating thing is one of those things. He probably did this 7 or 8 times in the course of two years while we were growing up. I never did ask him why, because just the mere thought of him doing that was just too intense for me back then. At the time, I couldn't even handle lemonade. Lemons just grossed me out. Period. And I made the mistake of telling my brother this one time. So he found the perfect way to almost get me to gag and get my eyes to water and to screw my face up. He found great enjoyment in this.

Then just to make matters worse it did no good for me to tell my dysfunctional mother. She never got after him about this bizzare practice, but kept buying the damn lemons to have him do it again.

Also the posting before with the restaurant in Mexico incident: My brother was the one that got sick. True story. The only thing different was he didn't rest his cheek against the glass. He put his forearm on it and then rested his head against his arm.

It was way worse than I described in the post. I felt so sorry for the customers inside and the restaurant owner lost so much money that night. The place pretty much emptied out and it had been packed.

Announcer: Before we start our regular broadcast we need to report a technical glitch in our blog. Apparently the Date has not been being displayed. This is troubling, especially for those of you that don't know what date it is. Heaven knows you want to came to B and B to find out what day it is. I just don't know ...

Beam_er: Ok Thanks announcer Guy.

Announcer: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know any one was here yet.

Beam_er: Yeah, well, uhm, you were getting a little carried away there weren't you.

Announcer: Maybe. Ok, just a little. But it's the Internet and I thought I could express ...

Beam_er: Well, it would be nice if you just stuck to the copy, ok?

Announcer: Ok, fine. I won't go off anymore.

Beamer: Beam_er, who's that?

Beam_er: Oh I though I'd class the place up a little and get us an announcer.

Beamer: Do we have a budget for that?

Beam_er: Uhm, sure. As far as you know.

Beamer: Ok cool. He's rather talkative isn't he.

Beam_er: Yeah, he takes after you.

Beamer: Oh thanks.