When I asked this gentleman for an interview, another Friend Feed associate, I had no idea what I was in for. This is raucous and not for the squeamish. I learned a lot about Steve with this Interview.



Steven Perez Interview -

Beamer- Mr. Perez, I find you a very unique individual. There aren't many People I know that would stick a glowing purple thing in their ear, much less take a picture of it, and then post it proudly on the Internet. Where do you come up with such crazy Ideas?




PEREZ: Well. for one thing, it's a sonic screwdriver, and the tip is blue. Purple doesn't react well to my skin. And I'd like to think that many of my crazy ideas were the result of extensive peyote experimentation in middle school. Alas, I believe the source of the my insanity comes squarely from an early diet of lead paint chips and French porn.

Beamer: Now Bobby you know what all that stuff is that Steve is talking about?

Bobby: What's a Sonic Screwdriver? And lead paint, that isn't good to eat is it? and French Porn .. Ok, I might know what that is.

Beamer: I'll have to google what a sonic screwdriver and No lead chips in paint is not a good thing to eat. You are correct in that assumption, but It explains a lot about Steve though. I'm glad you didn't ask about the Peyote.

Bobby: What is Peyote?

PEREZ: Peyote is a small herb used for time travel and extending one's mind into other realms of reality. I'm still wondering which reality I left my mind.

Beamer: Too Late.

PEREZ: It usually is with me.




Beamer: Your love of Cilantro- I realize it holds a special place in your heart, But to devote your Tumblr Page to it alone - That is pretty amazing. How long have you had this intense love affair with a spice?

PEREZ: That's a fairly common misconception. I have nothing to do with FUCK YEAH CILANTRO, other than a deep and abiding envy at not having thought of it earlier. Needless to say, as a Hispanic male, cilantro (NOT CORIANDER, you imperialist running dogs from other countries) is an integral part of my diet. Without it, I would lose my singing voice, gain an additional 500 lbs around my neck and be unable to bring a woman to orgasm seven times in thirty minutes.

Beamer: Ok, I think I just lost my Kid rating. Thanks Steve. Just kidding. The, uhm, 30 minute thing I am just going to let that go. Not gaining weight around your neck though is very useful information.

PEREZ: You'd be surprised how easy that is. The weight thing, not your kid rating. Actually, ...

Beamer: What did you do with your spare time prior to getting a web cam?

PEREZ: Wrestled bears, conquered small armies, reinvented several complex DNA sequences, wrote five bestselling novels under assumed names, and made love to several Italian supermodels at the same time over a span of eleven days. Also, caught up on my sleep.

Beamer: Looking at some of those Pictures of abandoned Buildings, some of those shots look like they are from another world. I know from taking plenty of shots myself with a camera, that many times what you eye sees is different than what shows up on the camera. Have you got a couple of places you went to that were abandoned where the camera didn't even come close to capturing what you were seeing with your eyes?

PEREZ: All of them. The camera rarely catches what I think I see. I'm just glad I belong to a community that manages to snag some small part of the reality around them, because that's something I've never been able to do.

Beamer: I noticed in the one shot of the abandoned Hospital, you have a reference to the 3 Stooges (Calling Doctor Howard). Are you a big fan of theirs?

PEREZ: Little known fact - I was Shemp. And Joe Besser. But they didn't like my deep voice.

Beamer: I thought you looked familiar. That is so cool.

PEREZ: Yes, I had the hair, if not the voice.

Beamer: Young Frankenstein really cracked me up. I am glad you chose it over Princess Bride. What was you favorite scene from Young Frankenstein?

PEREZ: Elevating Teri Garr. As a young man, this was a dream of mine.

Beamer: How long have you had a love of Movies?

PEREZ: Since my mother took me to see STAR WARS when I was five.

Beamer: Yeah, I'm not feeling too old right now.

PEREZ: Just wait til you turn 900 years old.

Bobby: How old were you when you went and saw that?

Beamer: I don't want to talk about it.

PEREZ: At least your first film experience wasn't THE PHANTOM MENACE. I hear in some states that taking your kids to see that cinematic abortion is grounds for child abuse charges.

Beamer: I'll try and avoid that movie. I see from your FM site that you currently have 2,606 Artists in total in your queue. My god man, how do you possibly listen to that many people and groups?

PEREZ: With great efficiency. I must have music when I work, so my only requirement for a media player is the ability to log all of my songs to last.fm. Unfortunately, my need for music means I have to turn down otherwise lucrative assignments, such as the arranged assassination of Adolf Hitler. Really wish I had taken that gig.

Beamer: A few years ago I got to see ZZ Top live Here in Bakersfield. Dem boys from Texas put on a hell of a show. Have you seen anybody live recently that blew you away with their talent musically?




PEREZ: Jane Monheit. That woman has the voice of an angel and a body that exudes sexuality from every pore. I patiently await news of her divorce so that I can sweep her off her feet.

Beamer: Can you tell me please what the heck is a Bluetooth Laser Virtual Keyboard?

PEREZ: It's a piece of Time Lord technology that survived the Time War. I'm really not sure how you humans acquired it at all.

Bobby: What?

Beamer: It's probably best we don't know. Just act like he didn't answer it, ok?

Bobby: Ok. But ...

PEREZ: IT NEVER HAPPENED BOBBY.

Beamer: I'll talk to you later about it. It's ok. You'll have to excuse him, He's uhm, sensitive.

PEREZ: I suppose that's one way to put it.

Beamer: He was dropped a few times on his head growing up. I only was responsible for one of those times. The dog did the rest, yeah ... I also noticed that your wanting The Zombie Survival Guide. Do you know something I don't?

PEREZ: Let's just say that it pays to be prepared. Also, armed.

Beamer: Good to know.

Bobby: Did he say Be prepared?

Beamer: Now, just calm down ... Did you actually Spend a year in Cabo San Lucas?

PEREZ: Indeed, I did. Best year of my life; I had to be dragged back to the US kicking and screaming. I still have an old Webshots archive containing some snaps I took on the way down there from California. But the photos I took during my stay are locked on a busted hard drive in a box in my closet. When I find some extra money, I'll get them copied to my Flickr account.

Beamer: Can't wait. Albuquerque, NM. Sounds like it gets hot there during the summer. I almost moved to that chunk of the USA. How do you like living there?

PEREZ: I love it. It gets very hot in the summer, being high altitude desert and all, but it's a nice patch all the same. October is the best month, though, with all the balloons taking off every morning for two weeks.

Beamer: Well Steve, I can't thank you enough for your time and interesting answers. You have a good day.

PEREZ: Thank you, gentlemen. Now where did I park the TARDIS?

This is a very nice Lady I had a chance to meet at Friend Feed. She was willing to grant me an Interview. I apologize to Laura for the delay in actually getting this Posted.

Laura Botts Interview -

Beamer: So Laura, You agreed to get interviewed by us cwazies. I can't thank you enough.

Laura: You’re welcome. I’m looking forward to our chat.

Beamer: I found you at a little social Place on the Interweb called Friend Feed. Have you been there Long?

Laura: I joined FriendFeed on July 1, 2008, after being on Twitter for several months. I prefer the conversations that happen on FriendFeed, personally.

Beamer: I agree.

Bobby: What's a friend feed?

Beamer: I'll tell you later. I love those shades you have on in your Profile Pic. Where did you get those bad boys at?

Laura: (Laughs.) I’m pretty sure they’re from Walmart. I’m thrifty like that. If I recall correctly, I bought them for a trip to New Orleans in 2005.

Beamer: I think I got mine at Walgreens.

Bobby: I wish I had some shades.

Beamer: Shhhh! Sorry about that, Larua. What Part of the Peach State you reside in?

Laura: In the middle, between Atlanta and Macon.

Beamer: So are you a big Fan of Bon Jovi? I think they do pretty darn good for themselves.

Laura: I like some of their things, mainly the big hits from the 1980s.

Beamer: I have never heard of Husker do before - are you a big fan of their Music?

Laura: I just started listening to them (and Sugar, both Bob Mould groups) last fall. A Twitter/FriendFeed friend turned me on to their music, and I really like it.

Beamer: I'll have to give them a listen. I also notice Andrew Lloyd Webber on your FM Mix. Your all over the place Musically aren't you?

Laura: Of course! I like all kinds of music. There’s a pretty random assortment in my life, but it’s heaviest on the Beatles. They’re my favorites by far.

Beamer: Have ever listened To Pandora?

Laura: A few times. I haven’t really gotten into it, though. I suppose I should give it another shot.

Beamer: Highly recommend Pandora for music, except it's just good in America. I noticed your a fan of Dr. Suess as well, eh?

Laura: Absolutely! I love those books. Such fun to hear and read, and the illustrations are great!

Beamer: What was your Major in College and which one did you go to?

Laura: I was a history major at Shorter College in Rome, Georgia.

Beamer:: I see you had Open Heart Surgery in 1995. Sounds like a scary time.

Laura: Yeah, it was a bit of a surprise to find out I needed it! But everything turned out fine.

Beamer: Glad to hear it. Is Frodo Your Dog? He's a beauty.

Laura: You might not say that if you saw him in person! He seems to be a lab/basset mix: lab head on a basset body. A friend of mine caught him in a humane trap in downtown Macon and named him “Frodo” because of his big Hobbit feet. Mr. B and I have three rescue dogs, Frodo, Tucker, and Bubba.

Beamer: Well, Thanks for the Interview. It was very Interesting.

March 5th, 2009

I don't understand. David Letterman is giving away a colonoscopy. Great. I'm all for everyone getting one when needed. My old man died of Colon cancer, Sort of. Well it was one of four cancers he had when he died. But it tore him up something fierce.

Colon Cancer is not fun. Anything you can do to prevent it , again, I'm all for. But Flying to New York to get a colonoscopy Just seems very odd to me. Personally I wanted want it, even though I have never been to New York and would love to go there.

Its just that when I had My colonoscopy, I spent the day previous to the test drinking this lovely stuff that made me become very familiar with the Toilet, luckily sitting down, rather than facing it, puking. But still, its not like I would want to go around town sight seeing while getting prepared for a colonoscopy.

Then there was the day of, again, not a great day for sightseeing or anything else. It wasn't due to the pain or anything. More due to the knockout drugs they gave me. They worked wonders at knocking me out. Not conducive for visiting anything, other than the inside of my eyelids.

Now if I had a week added on before or after the test, then I'm all Game. Somehow I don't think so, though.

By the way, everything checked out fine, thanks for asking.

March 1, 2009

I have raised 3 youngins and now I have officially 3 adult children. Two of these I have turned loose on society as a whole and for the most part, Its working ok. The wife and I took My youngest to Pizza last night to celebrate.

My son demanded I change my shirt before we leave. I said fine. I showed him. I not only changed My shirt, but my pants, shoes, combed my hair and Beard, but also washed My hands. The full Monty.

I would tell you what my wife did before she was ready to go, but it's a little strange and if she ever knew I told, well It wouldn't be pretty. So I shant disclose that particular Thing.

Thanks for understanding.

By the way, the pizza was great.

Feb 26th, 2009

I am thinking that you don't want to be dropping by here looking for great social redeeming posts, although you may have already figured that out.

And what does social redeeming posting look like any way?

I mean, if you don't know, just maybe I could pull it off that I am actually posting social redeeming stuff here and you just wouldn't know it.

Nah, I'll just be upfront with you, no social redeeming posting will take place here.

There I feel better.

Now for the good stuff.

Seems they are discovering lately that with Obama giving speech's that the Wall street is responding by tanking. This doesn't seem to be a good thing. I'm thinking one of two things need to happen, although I have a feeling neither will take place. Hoping that someone will come up with a reasonable fix to this situation, just so Wall street stops plummeting.

Ok, not everything posted here will be humorous. I'd love it to be so, but these be some strange times right now. I think that is part of the Reason Why the Boys went on Hiatus.

I'm fairly certain that we will survive all this stuff on America. I'll be glad when we can get back to the good times.

Feb. 25th, 2009

I haven't been posting here lately.

Yep.

So, I been thinking, either I do some thing with this blog or I get rid of it. I can't see getting rid of it. But It seems the Brothers are taking a Hiatus that may or may not end.

This isn't helping my Blog any. Or you Guys. All 2 of you. Maybe 3.

So things are going to change here.

Yep.

I'm doing away with the music at the top. It's gotten old for me and tiring. I'm keeping the name for now - why not - it just rings of class.

I just need to figure out what is going to be written here as posts. Preferably something funny. I can do Funny.

Watch:

Two men walk into a bar. A guy watching says "Ow, that must have hurt."

See.

I performed a magic act today. I turned my car into a driveway.

TaaDaa.

Ok, so it may be humor that hurts, But It still is better than reading about other stuff.

I think.

So Hang on and the posting rate her is going to improve. I just don't know if the readership here will. Only time will tell.

January 14th, 2009

Beamer: Cough Cough

Bobby: Looks like we need a maid to come in here and clean.

Beamer: I have 5 bucks I can pitch in.

Bobby: Maybe we could talk Amy into cleaning up in here.

Beamer: Good luck with that.

Bobby: Do we even have a broom around here?

Beamer: Nope.

Bobby: Well I think we need one. Don't you?

Beamer: Maybe Amy has one.

Bobby: Been a while, huh?

Beamer: How timer flies. Oh yeah, Happy New Year.

Bobby: Same to you Bro.

December 9th, 2008

Beamer: That it is best to avoid things that are sharp, hot and extremely heavy.

Bobby: What have you come across that is all 3 of those?

Beamer: Nothing, yet.

Beamer: Also avoid things that are old, driving crazy, and not paying attention.

Bobby: Are you trying to tell me something?

Beamer: Also try to avoid things that are sexy, smart, and talk softly.

Bobby: What is going on with you?

Beamer: I'm just saying.

Bobby: And what else?

Beamer: Avoid large people you owe money too and funny people that make you pee your pants.

Bobby: Are you just about through?

Beamer: Avoid Babies that have eaten a lot of stuff and someone has been tossing them in the air.

Bobby: And?

Beamer: That's it.

Bobby: Quite a list.

Beamer: Thanks.

December 4th, 2008

Bobby: Hello?






Bobby: HELLO?


Beamer: Sorry, I didn't know if we were still doing this or not.

Bobby: Oh, your so funny.

Beamer: Well, Look how long it has been since we have been here?

Bobby: And That's my fault?

Beamer: Mostly, yeah.

Bobby: Who says so?

Beamer: Mom.

Bobby: Yeah well she doesn't know everything.

Beamer: Yeah, well, so.

Bobby: What a nerd.

Beamer: Geeker

Bobby: Nerd

Beamer: Fart face.

Bobby: Double fart face.

Beamer: Triple Fart face.

November 26th, 2008

Beamer ... For tomorrow.

Bobby: Why?

Beamer: It's Thanksgiving, that's why.

Bobby: And what makes that so special?

Beamer: Well, aren't we a sour puss.

Bobby: Look, we eat all kinds of food, get halfway comatose, and then halfway pass out in front of the TV.

Beamer: Isn't comatose and passed out about the same thing?

Bobby: But I don't get comatose in front of the TV.

November 22nd, 2008

Bobby: Get over here.

Beamer: Whut?

Bobby: I want to show you something.

Beamer: Oh man, you know how I am with Computer stuff.

Bobby: Well, I am going to try and get you to understand some of this stuff.

Beamer: You've tried this before. It didn't work.

Bobby: Well I'm trying again.

Beamer: I don't know why.

Bobby: Cause you need to learn this stuff.

Beamer: But I was watching reruns of Mash. Trapper John was traveling to the front to ...

Bobby: Get over here!

Beamer: I liked it better when you weren't awake yesterday.

November 21st, 2008

Beamer: Good Morning.

Bobby: Uhhh.

Beamer: Come on sunshine, give me a smile.

Bobby: Whuu?

Beamer: It's A gorgeous day out.

Bobby: Its gray and Overcast.

Beamer: You look like you could use some coffee.

Bobby: Yep.

Beamer: Aren't we online?

Bobby: Yeah, so?

Beamer: I thought you were supposed to be all chipper and talkitive and stuff when we were online.

Bobby: Your doing enough for both of us.

Beamer: I slept really really good last Night.

Bobby: I'm so happy for you.

Beamer: Wake up you, it's going to be ok?

Bobby: Oh my God, It's Friday isn't it?

Beamer: Yep.

Bobby: Yeah for the weekend!

Beamer: That's better.

November 20th. 2008

Beamer: Well Hello Stranger.

Bobby: Hi There.

Beamer: Where you been hiding?

Bobby: I've been hanging out around Tweeter.

Beamer: You and your Musical Instruments.

Bobby: You don't know what Tweeter is do you?

Beamer: Sure, It's a very small flute like thing.

Bobby: You mean a fife?

Beamer: No, You don't like sharp Items.

Bobby: That's a knife. And I have no problem with them, It's broken glass that bothers me.

Beamer: I didn't know you could play a knife? What kind of sound does it make?

Bobby: It doesn't. It's a dull sounding piece of metal.

Beamer: Then how do you cut with it?

Bobby: There are times when you make my head hurt.

November 7th, 2008

Bobby: Well it's over.

Beamer: It?

Bobby: The Election.

Beamer: Really?

Bobby: Yeah!

Beamer: Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.

Bobby: Do you know how many people voted in this election?

Beamer: A bunch?

Bobby: A bunch and you missed it.

Beamer: Yep. I was concentrating on Halloween.

Bobby: I know that is your Big Holiday.

Beamer: Well, after Christmas and Thanksgiving.

Bobby: That is true, I forgot about that.

Beamer: And Fourth of July isn't far behind. I love them fireworks.

Bobby: Got it.

Beamer: So, who won?

Bobby: Obama

Beamer: That wasn't the old guy was it?

Bobby: No, the young black dude won.

Beamer: Interesting.

Bobby: Is that all you have to say.

Beamer: Are we online?

Bobby: Yes we are.

Beamer: Nope that's it. That and farfegnugen. I love that word.

Bobby: Farfegnugen? That's it?

Beamer: Ok one more word - Watermelon.

Bobby: Yeah Ok.

November 1st, 2008

Bobby: You didn't go trick or treating last night?

Beamer: I couldn't find my teeth.

Bobby: You had those things for years. They were gross.

Beamer: They were my Lucky Candy Teeth. I had them since I was 12.

Bobby: I don't even want to think about all the germs there were on them.

Beamer: I had them for 18 years.

Bobby: What, your 20?

Beamer: In my world, yes.

Bobby: You can always buy new ones.

Beamer: I'm just not going trick or treating any more.

Bobby: Did it ever cross your mind your too old for that?

Beamer: What - are you to old to go to Disneyland? Are you too old to go to Seaworld?

Bobby: It's not the same.

Beamer: Are you too old to play Baseball?

Bobby: What is your problem?

Beamer: I didn't get my annual Candy Fix.

Bobby: Is that it? Is that your problem?

Bobby walks into the next room and brings back left over Halloween candy.

Bobby: Here - will that make you happy?

Beamer: It's a nice start.

Bobby: I know, it's not your 35 pound haul as usual.

Beamer: What 35 pounds? I had 52 pounds of candy last year. It took me 4 days to eat all that.

Bobby: I'm getting sick just thinking about it.

October 18th, 2008

October 10, 2008

Ok, Kathy, This is no way supposed to show or display what it is that you normally look like in any way shape or form. This is a representation on what it is like to have to deal with the Boys. With that being said I present to you:

October 8th, 2008

Bobby: Can I ask her a question?

Beamer: Fine.

Bobby: You must be pretty smart and Stuff. Did you get good grades in school?

Beamer: What a lame question.

Kathy: I was a sometimes honors student in grade school and high school, but really excelled in college, graduating summa cum laude. I never reveal my SAT score to anyone because the number is horrific. But it illustrates that the number is only one indicator for success in life, and dare I say, it was nearly meaningless in mine. It mattered not what my score was. It mattered that I’ve applied myself since then. If there’s one lesson to be learned, it’s that numbers aren’t everything. Time and perseverance can change all that.

Bobby: Did you get all that?

Beamer: Who was the first teacher to make a positive impact on your life?

Kathy: That would be Sister Pat Dwyer, my tenth grade English teacher. She was the first teacher to notice my writing talents and to tell me I ought to do something with it. She suggested I attend a Creative Arts camp that summer. Due to financial constraints, I couldn’t go, but just knowing she thought I had a talent for writing was a huge boost to my fragile ego. It was a pivotal moment for me.

Beamer: I loved The Image of where you post at your laptop during the warm Months, overlooking your Back yard. What made you think of moving out there?

Bobby: She posts from her back Yard?

Beamer: That's what she said she did, Post from her back yard. Uhm, What does that mean?

Bobby: I'll explain it to ya later.

Beamer: Ok.

Kathy: Ok?

Beamer: Oh Yeah, go ahead.

Kathy: I moved out there mostly so that I can keep an eye on my cat Stinky when she explores the yard. We have an invisible fence, but she can’t be trusted not to cross over it. I also want to get away from the distraction of TV noise, and I find that sitting outdoors helps clear my head and get the writing juices flowing. I also enjoy some of the most stunning sunsets on my patio. The kind that make you see God. I’m thinking about rearranging some furniture in our study to make it blogging-friendly. I need a cozy nook for those cold days when I can’t blog outside.

Beamer: You have such a great sense of Humor. Where do you think it came from?

Kathy: Oh, geez. Bless your heart. I’m embarrassed to even answer this question. I may write funny from time to time, but in no way am I the life of the party. I’m quiet and introverted. My husband is the Rodney Dangerfield of the house. And my best friend can tell a story that’ll make you pee your pants. I don’t know. Where does it come from? Perhaps it’s just my general philosophy about life. If you can’t find the funny, you’re doomed.

Beamer: There is one store that I can get lost in so easily, It's embarrassing. You seem to have that problem a little more often. Is it getting any better?

Kathy: Absolutely not, and I see no improvement in my future. You know how some people have a mental block for things like mathematics? That’s how I am with directions and navigation. Not gonna happen. I don’t even try anymore. I simply surround myself with others who can get from Point A to Point B and follow them around like a puppy.

Beamer:m I am almost afraid to ask How your old cat got her name of Stinky?

Kathy: When we acquired Stinky and her brother as kittens, we named them Calvin and Hobbes after the Bill Watterson comic that my husband and I love. Stinky never responded to the name Hobbes for some reason. Perhaps because of the soft “H” sound. One day, she visited the litter box and left a gag-inducing odor behind. I said “Boy, for such a little thing, she sure does stink!” The rest is history. What’s fun is when we take her to the vet and they call her name when she’s next in line. We exit the waiting room, trailed by the sound of chuckles from other pet owners.

Beamer: You have no Idea of how I want to ask you about Praying Mantises, But I won't. I know you don't like bugs.

Kathy: Thank you. I can’t even look at pictures of bugs and now I feel like something’s crawling on me just thinkin’ about them. Thanks. Now I’m freaking out.

Bobby: Way to go Beamer.

Beamer: How'd I know she was going to react like that. Well, thank You For letting me pick your Brain. It's been fun.

Kathy: Thank you so much for having me! Now if this had been a real Barbara Walters Special, everyone would be weeping by now. Hopefully no one cried during the reading of this post.